The past.

Bigger tests yet to come

2009-11-29T18:55:00.005+08:00

12 years in the system
This is how it ends.

With great rewards comes greater sacrifice...

Goodbye brothers and sisters, this may be my last post.. on this blog at least.

something to share.

Something to share.

2009-09-28T21:34:00.003+08:00

Lyrics I find really meaningful. They're inside the video. :)

333. If you attend a study-session, behave only like someone who wishes to increase his knowledge and to win greater recompense from God. Do not behave like someone who is content with what he has, who is looking for some fault to criticise or a curious detail to hawk around. This would be the behaviour of vile men who never succeed in their studies.

Imam Ibn Hazm

From “Al-Akhlaq wa’l Siyar” – Morality and Behaviour

http://www.dhikrullah.com/knowledge/knowledge/on-the-way-to-study-sessions/

May it be of benefit. Insya-Allah.

Salam.

A quick sharing.

2009-09-23T06:49:00.002+08:00

There are alternatives to music that actually increase your remembrance of God.

May it be of benefit.

Salam.

Intention.

2009-09-19T15:12:00.002+08:00

Why write?

Why post a thought on facebook? Why express your feelings over the Internet?

Whats our motive?

Patch Adams

2009-08-31T17:47:00.001+08:00

One of my favourite movies of all time. Enjoy.

1 on 1

2009-08-26T12:30:00.004+08:00

Have you ever looked at the sky? Behind the clouds and the atmosphere. There's one large universe out there just going about its own laws and orbit. And then on Earth, we have the smallest particle, the atom and its electrons going about its own orbit. Such extremes but so similar in many ways. We have the law of conservation of energy and momentum without which, everything here on this earth is impossible. If one can somehow break this law, only God knows what could happen. Pardon the 'non-scientific'ness of my post but I've always thought of energy as one large entity. For example, you stomp on the ground. Chemical energy-mechanical energy-kinetic energy-sound energy-heat energy. It's one whole cycle. Where does this sound and heat energy go to? Vibration of air molecules? Contributing to a overall energy cycle? Maybe I need to read up more.

Such is the magnificence of the world we live in. Thousands of light years away, mankind has observed this:
Just wanted to share this verse:
[Al-Rohman 55:37 "And when the heaven splitteth asunder and becometh rosy like paint"

SubhanAllah.

Such is the reality of our minuscule existence. Have you pondered?

Salam.

Updates on my life

2009-08-25T12:55:00.004+08:00

Okay. Where do I start?

1) I'm still doubtful about how secularism fits in the context of Islam. I'll just leave that to another time after I've done my research.

2) In the midst of prelims. The rehearsal before the A's. They say that you have to give in your best for every kind of rehearsal. I can do better.

3) In the midst of Ramadhan. Work in progress.

4) Drums. Suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Played a lot of air drums though.

5) Life in school has taken a whole new meaning now. Life itself for me has taken a whole new meaning.

Salam.

To say or not to say

2009-08-18T23:25:00.005+08:00

Discussing religious views openly with occasional blurting out of 'Satan', 'God', 'the Holy Qur'an','sins'. One can't help but wonder if this is the secular type of environment for attaining knowledge. Although the number is not many, I can't help but see a trend right here in my own little backyard that people are becoming more vocal in their faith. Talking and declaring about one's own faith in the open within an earshot of people of another faith is much like treading on a tightrope. All I can say is that there are majorly sensitive issues at hand.

In my humble opinion, I don't think people should go around talking about religion in PUBLIC. Especially in a place where you know people can hear you easily. Only God knows what is in their hearts and the real reason why they are actually doing it. There is no compulsion in religion.

God guides whom he pleases.

PS: I still believe that the best dakwah is through yourself.
Adapted from the Lantern of the Path by

Imam Jafar bin Muhammad bin Ali al-Sadiq (a.s.)

"Men of knowledge are ruined by eight things: greed and miserliness, showing off and partisanship, love of praise, delving into things whose reality they cannot reach, affectation by taking excessive pains to beautify their speech with superfluous expressions, lack of modesty before Allah, boastfulness, and not acting upon what they know.

‘Isa [a] said, 'The most wretched of all people is he who is known for his knowledge, not for his actions.'"

Forgive me if I wrote something hurtful or wrong.

Salam.

Take 5 before 5

2009-08-17T22:54:00.001+08:00

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

The Prophet (saw) advised to: “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death”
(Narrated by Ibn Abbas and reported by Al Hakim)

"It is usually within our youth, we have less responsibility, we are at the peak of our healths, we have vast amounts of time which we can let easily slip away"-Sr. Aysha Khanom

Taken from http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/general/take-5-before-5-the-phases-of-life-by-sr-aysha-khanom/

This summarizes my day today.
Awaiting the blessed month of Ramadhan.

Reflections...

2009-08-13T23:36:00.002+08:00

To see someone you actually have feelings for walking back home with another guy is really heartbreaking..

But, I'm actually quite thankful. I knew it was inappropriate in the first place to have that kind of feeling.

So.. Today, I was heartbroken yet I am the happiest man alive. Alhamdulillah.

Reflection - Meaning of Life

2009-08-08T22:53:00.008+08:00

The meaning of life is that its a journey back to Allah.

We must not forget who we are.
All the property we have in this world does not belong to us.
So be thankful.
Be thankful of the many many favours and bounties we have been given by the true Creator
Our sense of touch, sense of smell, the ability to see!... all our senses for that matter
Our health which we take for granted
The shelter our country provides in many different aspects, healthcare, racial cohesion
Being in Singapore
There are too many to mention
So be thankful
For this life is temporary,
the moment we die, we leave nothing behind but footprints of our deeds and actions.
Even the richest man on Earth is no different than any of us 'ordinary citizens'
Don't we all die in the end?
Aren't we all vulnerable to illnesses?
Do you bring your wealth with you when you are buried?
Do you bring your family with you?

This is reality.

Mankind has been filled with pride with the latest gadgets, weaponry, properties.
Ignorance of reality.

My words may mean nothing to some of you.
But again, its just a reminder to myself and to anyone of you who took the time to sincerely reflect on life in this world, we need to know who we are in this world we live in...
Accumulation of wealth, in my opinion is okay, but we should not get attached to it. Again, the 5 pillars should never be compromised.

" We are people living in this world, but we are not of this world.
Salam to my brothers and sisters who read this blog.

My heart is shaken.

2009-08-06T10:09:00.002+08:00

Did I do the right thing by listening to his words?
I can never judge him but he has accumulated all that knowledge and he doesn't act upon some of them. Allah knows and sees all that he does. Who am I to judge...Who am I to judge...

This is a reminder to myself, the 5 pillars of Islam must be acted upon no matter what. No matter how much knowledge I receive. The pillars must not be compromised.

1) Syahadah
2) Prayers
3) Zakat
4) Fasting
5) Hajj

How can one regard prayers just as a 'lakonan'.... Astaghfirullah. May Allah lead him and me to the straight path.

May Allah strengthen my iiman.

2009-07-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

2009-07-11T20:29:00.003+08:00

I found out that my mom reads my blog. lol.

Well, I went to a gig today. There was this self-proclaimed noob band who came on stage and played punk-rockish songs i.e blink 182's dammit, greenday's basket case. Left halfway. Then it was Vessel's turn. Boy... did they rock the stage. Vessel is my ex-band, formerly known as lastdayout. All their original songs were good. From the starting chord till the end, I thoroughly enjoyed the performance. 2 thumbs up.

I was disappointed when 1 by 1 people did not want to go to the gig. Gave me false hope. Well, at least I enjoyed it with nas. I don't make the same mistake twice.

Just another reflection

2009-07-06T23:46:00.004+08:00

dang.. I am fickle. The reason why I procrastinate so much is because I tend to follow what my heart wants most of the time, not what is required of me. I ignore my responsibilities for my own selfish deed. That is not right. But what if my 'selfish' deed consist of following my passion. The drums has been a part of my life for more than 3 years. Sometimes, I try to juggle between my usual practices and studies. I don't think it is an effective strategy for me. I need to get my 4As. With the usual practice time, I feel as if I'm getting distracted more and more from homework and revision. Sigh... When will the time come when I can FULLY concentrate on drum practice. 3 months or so i guess.

Why is it so hard to give up the other. My responsibilities have been clearly laid out for me. I need to get good grades and drumming hasn't provided me the opportunity to do so....

Wait a minute. I'm blaming my drums now.

See! this is the problem!!!
I blame on something and realise midway that I am the one ultimately to be blamed. Why is my standard so low. Why am I so hard on myself sometimes. Why am I so hard on others sometimes( although I may not show it). Since when have I become a victim of consequence. I dont want to be burdened by mistakes. I want to grow out of them and become stronger. Why do I feel as if everything is pulling me down...

Alrighty... there comes a time when morality prevails and responsibilities must be upheld no matter what the consequence and how distraught the conscience. I must do what I know is right for me now, not what I feel is right. I hope that's the right thing to do...

hmm Fickle.

On a lighter note, thatbloodycritic.com is back! and my hi-hat foot pedal has miraculously been fixed!

Discovery.

2009-07-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

I finally found a word to describe what I've been feeling lately... Adolescence.

Ah. Sweet adolescence. Somehow, I keep getting a feeling that this won't be the last I'll hear of it. Karma strikes back.

On a lighter note... Nothing to say. Haha.

Get well soon Irfan! I'll be awaiting your arrival at work pretty soon. Haiz, the factory opens at 7.40am tmr.. Work ends at 2.10 though :))) <--- Double chin. hehe.

Ok.. I love work.

Wow.

2009-06-29T16:31:00.002+08:00

I didn't know Michael Jackson was such a great musician until I cam across this video.

Made me teary....

Well, I'm kinda slow.

Ah.. the power of music and its ability to strengthen the spirit. Combine it with touching images...:'(

In the hall of the mountain king.

2009-06-21T13:15:00.002+08:00

Different styles. enjoy...

The best for last. :D

__________________

Alright kids.
My dreams and aspirations have been more or less figured out.
The plan has also been established.
It's time for me to carry it out.

Though some things may change along the way.
Lets just hope that whatever happens, it turns out for the best.

See ya!

Interesting.

2009-06-11T06:58:00.001+08:00

Ok dudes... 3 more hrs till sch starts!!

...And please... No more of that stuff...

Ended on a high.

2009-06-06T19:43:00.004+08:00

Well, its over.

I'll miss the times I had with the band.
The first time I stepped into the band room.
The first band-mate I talked to.
The first time I touched my main instrument.
The first time I tried reading a score.
The first time I played with a conductor.
The first time I met my Sectional Leader.
The first time I met my first section-mates.
The first time I played in a concert.
The first time I played a percussion ensemble with my section
The first time I lead a percussion ensemble (different from the previous) despite my abysmal knowledge of playing.
The first time I broke down.

Then came my first AGM. The start of the second chapter of my band life.

I became a percussion sectional leader and a quartermaster.
I was fickle-minded and had not much confidence. It was kind of embarassing for me to ask my section mates how to read scores every single time before we played a song. I kept referring to them for almost every single bar. They've been patient with me and had faith me. Therefore, I'm indebted to Qiu Yin, Yujia, BeiYu and WeiJie.

Soon, with much determination and countless hours of practice, ( I read through almost every single page of the Total Training book for snare drum), I felt more confident of playing. I faced every score with a strong feeling that I can do play it well. Damn well.

Then came Band fest and OP band exchange. Further fine-tuning of skills.

There was also Hong Kong band exchange. 'Jammed' with a university Orchestra. Didn't care about how other people viewed me after the mistakes I made. The only thing I enjoyed was being with the best group of people you could ever hope for overseas. The 'air-condition-like' weather was an added bonus too. Hehe.

3rd chapter.

Reality sets in. A lvls is that much closer now.
Jam N' Hop was great. I didn't know where I got the energy. Probably I just gained it from the crowd. Elastic Collision. Hehe Maximum transfer of Kinetic Energy without any loss. I have to thank the humble Malay Community + Nareyn for all the effort they put in.

Where was I?
Normal band prac started. Got to know the J1s. My goal was far too extraordinary I think. I wanted the whole percussion to be proud of YJCSB when they leave. Maybe I should have aimed for "Play tight together as one whole unit". But then again, being in the band is not all about music. Its about building bonds.

I'm glad they were with me till the end even when my decisiveness fails. If you guys are reading this... I really really appreciate it. :)

Then came SYF 2009. Nothing much to say. :P
Then came POST-SYF 2009. Ended on a high note i.e. I sang Majulah Singapura after the performance , I also sang the Bhangra beat whenever Shivam walked past. hehe. Hmm Oh yeah, I also shouted " We are a Gold band in the toilet." Hmmm...

I reflected with some of my close buds in band. In Yjcsb, there's quite a lot of cliques. Usually, they are bound together by personal or common interest. With my close buds, we are bound together by the strong interest in making music. We are not really into gossiping unlike some. hehe. I just want to play without politics. I'm really glad I have them. It makes band sometimes less lonely. To sum it all up. We had a jam session in the band store where I orchestrated them with my ideas. not bad Muzakkir.. not bad guys... hah. This clique system will never go away. I'm sure of it... But at least theres no hard feelings against anyone.

Well peeps, this marks the end of my YJCSB band life. I won't really have time once I enter NS.

Ah.. but as Mr Rasull puts it, "It certainly won't be your last..."

Ciaozz. Gonna try embark on something more fulfilling. Talk to you when I'm better at it.

Walking Contradiction..

2009-05-30T19:03:00.002+08:00

I've been watching travel documentaries. I really feel like travelling all over the world. Save up enough money. Live by the sea. Untouched by the outside world. Living independently. Haiz...

Theres not many places to travel to in Singapore. Im getting bored of the infrastructure. I want to see new places. Go somewhere no one has ever been. Take pictures. Play music. hmmm Maybe after A's...

Before I head off..

2009-05-15T08:00:00.002+08:00

30mins till sch starts .. Came across this video thanks to my super music geek friend, winson.

Love them.

"we all too often lose sight of the true meaning of music: the uplifting union of feeling and intellect, the intimate and profoundly emotional expression of the soul."

Ciaoz!

I-rack!

2009-05-11T21:09:00.002+08:00

How fresh.

Ok looks like I'm gonna hit the racks and study corner again for quite some time.

Less TV time. Less spongebob and the rest of my favourite cartoons. Less TV serials. No more crash, true blood, merlin.... Maybe a little of Merlin when season 2 starts.. although its plot is getting a bit predictable and boring. I still love how the story unfolds into this bigger picture of how Arthur becomes King.

Less sleep. More Revision and catching up. I hate catching up. Makes me lose stamina... Speaking of stamina.. I gotta start training on my running. I need to hit 10mins for my 2.4 by the end of the year and 9mins by the time my ns starts. Besides, working out makes me feel better and increases my tolerance for the undesirables.

Time to plan ahead for the future. 5As, NTU, NTUSB.....

See ya.

Silver lining

2009-05-09T18:53:00.004+08:00

Aren't you a happy boy!

The occasional stone.

Rehearsal time. Long time ago. TQ looks like a tomato.

Shiny shiny.

My second wife

Ok the spamming of pictures are done.

How do I describe this feeling?

I kind of expected it during the exchange in MJC. The full-blown impact of achieving a silver happened then. A week after, I was prepared to face a silver or a bronze. After what we've been through, it was definitely a memorable experience. Learning objectives were met. I was a better musician than I ever was 2 years ago. The results didn't really matter ... to a large extent. I hope we participants/students realise the significance of learning than the colour of the medal.

Note: I also notice that in Sgbandfusion, most of the bands that got commented are Gold bands and the shockers (bronzes and unexpected silvers). That leaves the other schools that achieved silvers behind. Haiz does that mean the good gets better and the rest just stay stagnant?

Its another milestone for YJCSB. We're on another level. Yes, we have not achieved Gold yet but we sure did pave the way for a great batch of juniors to carry on the YJ band spirit, fun with excellence .. hehe( I just coined that phrase myself)

IMHO, to look beyond a disappointing result and continue the music-making provides more useful life lessons than getting a good result. So those who felt a little disappointed, we should stnd tall and be proud of what we've achieved and contributed to the stature of our band. The band has many many many more years ahead of it. I'm glad to be a part of the history-making, no matter how small my part may be.

SYF over.

lol....
Post-SYF concert it is. See ya!

JET. Bring it on back.... YJCSB, my only true love in YJC.

COUNTDOWN!!!!

2009-05-05T22:13:00.002+08:00

2 MORE DAYS!!!

Boom shakalaka boom!!

Jia You GO!!

Return of the Jedi.

2009-04-25T20:31:00.002+08:00

I know I said I would be going M.I.A but I just have to say something.

This will be my first and last time taking part in SYF. I am determined to make something out of it. I have spent countless nights thinking about band (band band syf polovtsian dances overture band band band) before I sleep. I want to be a Carragher!

Its this guy
(Ref:http://images.teamtalk.com/08/05/800x600/JamieCarragher_835130.jpg)

He's a total Red I would say. Born a liverpudlian, loves his club, loves his job. Prepared to make any sacrfices, pushes himself to the limit. See, he's not some top goalscorer, nor a star player, he knows what gets the job done and he does it to the very best of his ability sometimes to the point of hurting himself. It's the club over himself. Thats what i love about him.

I want to emulate him. Band over myself. I'll take one for the team if I have to. I'll go through any amount of shit I have to.

I just hope all my fellow 'bandits' feel the same way.

12 more days. Are you ready? are we ready YJCSB?

To be part of YJCSB.
To re-live the Passion.
To pass the Baton.
To play the best we could have possibly hope for.
To make history.

As if I needed self-assurance...

2009-03-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

I don't need to say anything now after all that I've done during march holidays.

Won't say anything uplifting...
Won't state any resolutions...
Won't make empty promises...
Won't give any hypocritical advice...

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid...

See you all later my fellowship of readers or ... reader hehe.
Won't be updating for a long time now.

Let this be my last vid. Credit goes to Winson for introducing me to this very EPIC performance
Never thought this performance could even be put to reality.

Sayonara bitch.

Yesterday

2009-03-20T23:53:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I was given the chance of a lifetime. I can ask 3 questions pertaining to anything and I will get them answered correctly.

I can only remember one.

'What is my purpose in life?'

I found out the most logical answer I've ever heard. The thing is, I can't remember it. It was a dream.

The other 2 questions were related to Life too and I received very very logical, commonsensical(?) answers ever. They actually made sense!! I can't remember it now... But how did I know it made sense in the first place?

Haiz... I've been interpreting symphonies my way. It makes listening to classical music kinda cool (less boring) that way. Thought I better do some background research on my choice piece. At least it can make my musical journey much more fruitful.

Lastly, I've been secretly wanting time to ponder over the little things in life. Just think... Thinking in peace. Maybe I think too much but why place a boundary on the brain...

Of aims and camps....

2009-03-19T22:07:00.003+08:00

Band camp was intensely exhausting. I think we(organizing committee) met our objectives to a large extent. Success can be proven by me having repeated flashbacks of us playing Polovtsian dances again. Haiz.. The great feeling of playing great epic music. Attempting to describe will only result in embarrassment. Just hope we'll get a Gold this year.

Aims.. For block tests, my am is not that high. I'm aiming for at least a good pass ( >D) for my H2s. Too much was happening before the tests. Couldn't really concentrate. My cough med's drowsiness is really getting to me. I practically slept the whole day today.

Some thoughts... Could it be possible that ''gut feelings'' is the result of the brain detecting a change in energy levels in atoms/molecules that surrounds us? Is it even possible for the brain to detect such things?

What is it about these gut feelings... Pure coincidence? Karma? Every life is interlinked? I just made the wildest and most random guess just now and it was true to a large extent...Weird..

Hmmm...

2009-03-16T19:39:00.003+08:00

My Jtdp attachment officially ends tmr. Great news.

Post-Jtdp reflections.

I've experienced the rigour of research work. Although I may not have experienced the full force of it. All the previous entries when I talked about doing things I'm not passionate about, I'm actually referring to my research. Its not really considered a research since my hypothesis is extremely weak. There are many areas which I could have improved on but I wasn't really focused on doing a good job. I had no interet in it. Nevertheless I persevered...

'I'm never going to be in this line of work ever'

I thought of moving into the arts stream. Hmmm.. Maybe...
I still do better in sciences though...
I'm just average.
Average peeps don't stand out.
How do I become outstanding?

Think.. thinkk.. thinkkkkkk..
Act

CVD cleared

2009-03-15T10:30:00.002+08:00

CVD performance was not that bad.

One side mission before block test: Band camp
Its going to be fun no doubt with all the games and stuff. But I just hope we get some quality practice time.

I've been craving for a Big Mac since last week!!!!

http://mentalfloss.cachefly.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/bigmac.jpg

Hmmm..

Anyways, a question that has been bothering me for the past few days. Let me give you a simple scenario...

Person A litters the floor with a piece of used tissue paper. By chance, you happen to see that tissue paper.
Would you
1) Discard the tissue paper where it belongs
2) Walk away pretending not to notice it
3) Confront the guy who threw the tissue paper.

Hmmm... I have a guilty feeling whenever I choose no.2 . I feel as if I'm as bad as person A. Doing something wrong is as bad as not doing what it takes to correct it. Argh...

Guilt.. Conscience...BIGMAC!!

yes

2009-03-12T20:36:00.002+08:00

More things cleared off my list of events in 2009

Things to come:

1) CVD
2) Band Camp
3) Block Tests
4) SYF rehearsal
5) SYF
6)Post-syf concert
7) Percussion ensemble
8)June Hols(Revision period)
9) Prelims
10) Alvls
11) Join an external band

Probably chionging my H2's in whatevers left of the holidays +2 days. Need to aim realistically high. hehe.

I must get the job done.

I have to do this!

2009-03-10T22:08:00.003+08:00

I just needed a medium to let this off my chest.

I totally hate ( !!!!!!!) doing things I'm not passionate about.

But then again, the world doesn't revolve around me.

...Abhor.... totally hate it....

Get it over and done with I guess... But the thought of wasting all that PRECIOUS TIME!!!.....
Gets me worked up...
Why join in the first place right??
Because I thought of just doing it for the sake of SGC...
It doesnt even matter if i even did it... It'll just be there written as 'participated in ***********'

Haizz... I hate wasting time

Great things.

2009-03-08T19:57:00.003+08:00

Over the years, I have buried myself in self-help/ motivational books. Okay, that was an exaggeration. But I can say I have done my fair share of reading. Thus, I understand a couple of strategies or psychological processes behind successful people; Altering thought processes, overcoming procrastination, Mind-maps by Tony Buzan, Speed reading, memorizing techniques and so on.

What I have come to realize is that the most fundamental thinking behind all successes is something we've seen before. Its something we've heard of. Maybe, its something we've even wrote of. If words can sum it all, I would have to say Nike's "Just do it" does it best.

Why?

How can people achieve extraordinary feats in the realm of Athletics? Because when the mind tells them to stop practicing, when they're in the threshold of unbearable pain, their body simply just do it.

How can average students who enter neighbourhood JCs achieve >4 distinctions for their A lvls? Because when they are on the verge of giving up on complex numbers, when they are having second thoughts why they're doing the A's in the first place, when they are having difficulty understanding the concept of Forces, when they are having difficulty understand the shift of AD/AS curves... They keep on persevering and practice hard to deepen their concept. They simply just do it.

Why was I born in the first place?
Because my parents simply just do it.

My point may be mooted. Of course there may be risks involved in just doing it. But whatever the case, if you ever wanted to ask that girl out, say I love you to your parents, make friends with your arch nemesis, do your homework, start revising for the A levels.. I say Just do it!

Whatever that happens next, leave it up to God to decide.

PS*
Rash-thinking is discouraged when you apply "just do it"

Sharing of thoughts + Self-abusing mechanism

2009-03-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

What an eventful month. Eventful Year. It's all going to be over soon. Research projects... not my cup of tea. The devil's in the detail. I'm not too good at minute details that may classify an experiment as a crappy one or a terrific one. Ah.. experiments. The idea of doing another scientific analysis is enough to make me insane.

The idea of contracting a disease is on even worse. Hmm, worse come to worse, I just have to live with it. Life goes on right... Haiz...I'm unwell and paranoid.

Signs of desperationg. Exhaustion. Am i starting to lose the drive to excel. Plummeting grades likened to the economic status. Whenever I do something wrong, there's a voice in my head which insults me on my apparent stupidity. I look down on myself sometimes thinking that reverse psychology could work on me. That brings up another problem.

Am I 2 completely different persons? 2 personalities. 2 trail of thoughts. Or maybe my mind is the owner and my body is the worker. Thus the thought process behind the reverse psychology self-insulting mechanism. Haiz... Im hardly understandable. I'm a puzzle. I can't be solved. I'm not meant to be solved. I'm meant to be played. Painting different pictures of myself on every individual. A case of split personality. Maybe.

But does it matter? Getting that A grade in your weekly tests.. Does it matter? Learning Math? Does it matter? Education itself... Does it matter? Why do we go through all this mess of education systems? To fit ourselves into societal norms and be contented with an 9-5 job?
Maybe you're not contented. Maybe you don't want to live your life out of the comfort zone? Why not? Why would people lose sleep and leisure time over studies? Why? Whats our purpose? What is MY purpose? Getting leadership positions? So? Doing what our conscience feel is right? Questions...I want to immerse myself in deep thoughts but what I get is the usual superficial answers. Non thought-provoking and utterly disgusting scratch-the-surface answers. Why?

Why am I tensed most of the time? Why do I behave in a certain way? Why do I think in a certain way. What makes up my thought process. What made me what I am today. I need time to answer my own questions.

I need to work upwards again. An uphill task indeed. Am I the only one that can feel a sense of lack in drive in the JC2 cohort? Only a few are serious. I'm not one of them of course. I try to be. Sometimes I am serious. But at times ( most), I too am overwhelmed by the urge of doing things completely irrelevant to my supposedly top priority this year. A levels.

My aim now is to hit at least 4 distinctions. I'm hoping to land a dream job playing music for the rest of my life. Or at least doing something I'm passionate about, Helping the community.

Life in Technicolour

Futuristic Nostalgia

2009-02-28T19:21:00.003+08:00

Haiz.. gonna miss 2 and a half days of school next next week.

Hope I do well in all that I do.

Patience is the one of the many keys to success. A stark contrast of what I portrayed today.

Oh
Heres a picture I plan to show to my kids when I'm grown up.

(sorry too lazy to rotate, I'm an atypical blogger who likes to talk about himself) ( try zooming?)

I'm going to tell them this...

"Your dad is a drummer. And no.. he didnt take slimming pills..."

Hmmm...

2009-02-24T21:23:00.003+08:00

I notice I like to take things personally. Damn. freakin SNAG disease is rubbing on me. Ill try my best not to be too sensitive. Problem with being too sensitive is that you'll get to paranoid on saying whats wrong or right so as to not hurt the other party. Introversion makes socially awkward...hmm...

Kukuciao.

Oh yeah. Somehow, I feel really melancholy. Lets just be open for this post k?

Nah. Lets just leave it to my diary.

Currently applying what the YJ p.e teachers are teaching for p.e lessons. Working out feels good. Hmm...

Hmmm... HMMMM...

Looking for good friends who's willing to go for long walks.....

Distraught.

2009-02-19T20:28:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling really pissed at myself. There's so many things that I feel I can do better but I'm not doing it. Its really irritating.

I'm also feeling a bit down because I have come to realise how little I have shown appreciation to others, primarily my family members for everything they've done for me. I can do so much more but I cant. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Courage is the mastery of fear goes the wise saying... but I just can't possibly do it all at once.

Argh.. the stress is overwhelming. I need to set my priorities straight.

As its supposed to be
1) Religion and Knowledge( Through studies)
2) Family
3) Band and Friends
4) Sleep

In reality
1) Band and Religion
2) Sleep
3) Family
4) Knowledge

Haiz...

Please let me join...

Thought process

2009-02-10T22:31:00.002+08:00

1) I get angry because of a stupid schmuck

2) I bang tables and doors.

3) Then, I cool down and try to think of what to do next.

4) Considering my options, I try to reflect on what I did wrong

5) I go back home thinking of writing the happenings here

6) While writing, I realised the situation could have been much worse and I;m thankful for what had happened.

7) I press publish post and retreat to the bunk.

Jam n hop experience

2009-02-07T21:57:00.002+08:00

I forgot to mention more in depth of Jam N' Hop.

Pictures provide depths... and i dont have pictures you see...

Anyways i thought of posting something about Jam N' Hop because i'm scared this experience will go down the drain when im 57 years old or something.

I also have a picture of me on the set. Taken using a Polaroid. Credits to the ultra-cool teacher Mr Leong.

Hmmm.

BBQ was kinda distracting. We weren't the main focus for some as many were more interested in getting fried chicken. But the rest were great! Greater than great.
Parents were a bit curious about our performance and stuff and many watched. They didn't cause too much commotion. Argh. I hate to describe performances. Its better to live it rather than talk about it.

I just hope my fellow Symphonic band members become more serious in their music. I need to be too.

Only a few months left to SYF....

Hey

2009-02-07T21:39:00.002+08:00

Back from all the gajeezz(?)

Its time to cancel off
1) Jam N' hop
2) JTDP presentation

from my list of events for 2009.

All thats left

-CVD performance ( 2 acts)
-Band Camp
-Block tests
-SYF rehearsal
-SYF day
-Percussion ensemble + Post-SYF concert
-June Holidays ( Total Revision month)
-A Lvls
-Audition for an external band (sws?)
-Learn how to play Mahjong

Lol. I can't think of the small events.

First things first. Jam N' Hop turned out pretty well. I only have to thank Allah for his blessings.
I just found what turns me on ( academically). Its competition.. but yet, I i hate competition cause im more of 'lets work together kind of person'. Its conflicting you see.

Thus it becomes ' Lets work together on the outside' but on the inside its more of ' Argh i gotta beat the shit out of him in chemistry/physics/math/gp...'

Haiz. Looks like theres no sitting on the fence. I gotta choose one path. You'll soon find out which.

I wonder how Allah thinks of me? hmm

OMG!

2009-01-04T20:14:00.002+08:00

"When feeling self-conscious, one becomes aware of even the smallest of one's own actions. Such awareness can impair one's ability to perform complex actions. For example, a piano player may "choke", lose confidence, and even lose the ability to perform at the moment they notice the audience."

quoted from wiki. heh.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-consciousness

True to a certain extent i guess. Speaking from experience of course. I'm just curious. All this while, I've been practicing in front of the mirror... is it actually making my playing worse...

I'm not going to look into the mirror ever again. Exaggerated. and stupid decision-making.

but...who knows..I need to gain the ability to lose myself... Without the influence of alcohol and drugs and everything nice.

2008 And drumming Reflections

2008-12-29T22:20:00.004+08:00

Really Simple!

It has been a great year. Relatively speaking. Since all the previous years were quite tame. Yes tame! I've never been this wild before.

Hah. As in, I've never been this busy. I'm involved in quite a no. of things, which is relatively little compared to high-achievers.

1) Band Experience

One phrase sums it up. It's freaking sweet. While many are choosing to end their music-playing in their JC life. I chose to start mine. Some say its kinda stupid because of all the CCA vs Study time kind of thing. But I said YES!

I chose to play in a symphony band because throughout my previous 2 years of drumming, I've become disillusioned with why I played drums in the first place.

Why did I take up drums in the first place?

Everyone's been asking me how long I've been playing and where I learnt how to play. The answer is 2 years and 8mths-ish and I started out drums with 2 billiard sticks. (I used to have a toy billiard set. I used the stick as my drumstick)Hah. I had a fascination for drums dated since my sec 1 years. Just didn't bother to learn it till I was in sec 2. In the spur of a moment, I began searching for drum videos on the Internet. I remember the first song I've learnt. THE REASON BY HOOBASTANK! On the same day i started researching on the drumset, i printed out the tabs, learnt how to read tabs then played it and WHAM!! I'm a freaking drummer! (now with a pair of broken billiard sticks) (EDIT: I printed out hundreds of pages of tabs. So you can say I'm an experienced tab reader hah. Now I need to do the same thing with Mallet scores.)

Lol. No one really had faith in my playing. But i guess my passion was as fired up as my hormones. The drums became more of an obsession. My Parents bought me a electronic drumset and I am grateful as ever to them. I will not disappoint them. I will repay their faith in me when I'm older and maybe richer. Heh.

For a few mths, the Internet became my teacher. Then, I went to Yamaha for 6 mths for lessons. By that time, I already joined my cousin's band, Last Day out. I think we had a total of 6-8 performances so far. I love them to bits! (heh so gay). But the most important thing is the experience. In addition, I also get to impress so many chicks. heh.

I never really knew the purpose of playing in a band. I guess its all 70% impress people 30% playing music. I don't know. I never really had the passion to understand music in depth. I just wanted to play something really well and then be praised. Here it comes!

I just wanted to be accepted in the society!

Thats all. Then JC came. I quitted Last Day Out. My initial objective of joining band was to improve my musicianship skills as a whole. I wanted to be become an all-rounder not some brainless nut who just hit things. I wanted to become a percussionist.

Then I realised something important. Band is not all about playing music. Its more of learning people management skills, building lasting relationships and GETTING THE DAMN GOLD FOR SYF! yeah. Theres just so many things to be said about Band. It's just great to be in a band. I'm glad to be in one in my school life. Too bad for me I didn't join my Secondary School band. But that has also taught me something good, You have to grab opportunities or you'll never see them again! (I learnt this even before Yes man)

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Then Band fest 08 came. Learnt quite a number of things just by observing. Yeah! :)
I'm working on rudiments now. I want to be able to play etudes and orchestral excerpts on the snare drum and mallets so that I can audition for a good 'outside' band. I want to learn music from scratch. I want to have a decent feel for all percussion instruments and become a better sight-reader. I want to be a great percussionist and I'm not scared of making mistakes.

2) YJC experience

Well, lets just say its been worth it. I've made a lot of friends here. I love them all. In YJC, you just have to turn to left or right and you'll find a friend ready to help you. haha. One reason is because its damn small. Well, if you can't find friends here, theres always the cleaners. ...and the cats.

Ok guys. My next gig would be the YJC open house 9th JANUARY 2009!!! YJC Jam n' hop for YJC orientation. My bands not Caracal or AVA or The Firefight but we make pretty nice covers heh. So yeah. JAM N HOP IN THE DAMN QUADRANGLE(parade square) THIS YEAR!! on a freaking podium with no air-con and it wont be as dark as the air-conditioned hall. If it was in the hall, I could be doing all sorts of mischief heh. But i hope they switch off all the lights. I want to play under the stars.

YJSymphonic Band Performance: 9th January 2009.

So see ya people.

New year's resolution

2008-12-29T22:12:00.001+08:00

I'm a ***ING YES-MAN!!!

Yes to every opportunity baby!

Clogged!

2008-12-29T00:31:00.002+08:00

I SLEPT AT 5.30 am for the first time since the PW era!

WHY?!?!

I can't stop thinking!
My heart felt heavy most of the time.
Whenever I almost got to the state of losing my consciousness, I'll become wide awake again!!

I feel afraid of sleeping nowadays...

I don't want to lose my body.

But Life IS temporary. Sigh...

Faith must be restored.

My attempt at perfection has failed. Expected haha. Doesn't matter. Its how you bounce back.
Watched the Guardian today. Cool movie.
Watched Yesman today. Cool movie too. Leading actress was cute.

Clogged Thoughts!!
I need to go for relaxation courses.

For the record.

2008-12-27T23:46:00.003+08:00

I just want to say how grateful I am to EVERYSINGLEPERSON whom I have met and for every single incident that has happened to me. Be it embarassing or stupid or fantastic. ... and blah blah blah.

k I'm not in the mood for well wishes.

Its time to move on! Bring on 2009!!!!(in advance)

Enjoy it much as possible before the juice runs out.

2008-12-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

Ok. I read Mr Rasull's blog about how the Japanese strive for perfection in almost everything that they do. I don't know if its true since...

ALL GENERALIZATIONS ARE FALSE!

Get it?
hah. The irony.
Credits to Monil for the quote.

Anyways... perfection. Wouldn't it be great if my technique was perfect? Wouldn't it be great if I practiced with a metronome every single day to perfect my strokes? If everyone have already become better with dogged and drilled practice sessions, why am I still doing random( as in random timings) practices and no serious practices. I don't want to be on the losing end.

Sorry if my posts are getting shorter, shorter everyday. I don't feel secure writing reflections on the Internet anymore.

Not much of a classical buff but I listen to what I like. Thats all that matters. Just want to share it with you guys.

I've grown!

2008-12-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I do get abit out of hand.

Anyways, have you ever gotten that feeling that you want to impress someone so badly but in the end failed miserably. Cue in, embarassment etc. I've been experiencing it alot. Its keeping me agitated. It's kinda hard to forget that kind of experience. I tend to get pissed of by that.

BAND!

2008-12-16T18:21:00.000+08:00

BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDORCHESTRABANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND
BANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBANDBAND

I want to play music for the rest of my life.

HAPPY! :(

2008-12-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

Chasing Pavements - ADELE

Frustrated with myself.
Frustrated with my actions.
When our desired path seems endless
When it bears no fruit
when.....

argh damn

Did I change? No.

I've always been the same.

Should I give up?
or should i keep chasing pavements.
even if it leads no way...

YMCA

2008-12-08T18:14:00.000+08:00

It sucks to feel insignificant.

But. No one can make you feel inferior without your own consent.

But. Its not a matter of superiority.

Its a matter of not doing enough.

What am I lacking?

Why am I not noticed?

Day 2

2008-12-05T20:48:00.000+08:00

K people. Here's the gist of day 2.

1)Museum
2)HKIED band exchange
3)Monkok street/ Ladies street Shopping period.

Pictures from Inversely Chronological order.

Shanghai University Orchestra. It took me quite a while to communicate with the percussionists.
I think they don't understand my English.

We played Phantom of the opera and I forgot the other one. They were great. I sucked. Couldn't follow the conductor and score. Was lost 3/4 of the time.

So many girls in the orchestra.

Lol. Men use cameras too.

Vick and his Gundam buys.

K people. Here's the gist of day 2.

1)Museum
2)HKIED band exchange
3)Monkok street/ Ladies street Shopping period.

Pictures from Inversely Chronological order.

Museum visit.

Lucky I didn't fly.

Haha. My favourite section. ( A few faces missing though)

Zul. No words needed.

Breakfast.

What happens when you wake up in the morning and got nothing to do?

PUSH UPS!

Look closely haha.

I love the intro. The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, Op. 34 Part 1

K

Got kinda lazy

2008-12-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

No second day. Sorry if the previous pictures were too big. I don't have the patience to do anything right now.

Not angry. Just lazy. Disturbed.

Enjoy. This brightened up my day.

Experience points Increased.

2008-12-02T21:07:00.001+08:00

I miss Hong Kong. The fun times we spent together. 'We' as in the band. In my totally honest opinion, I feel that we have bonded a lot more but I'm afraid that's not enough. There's lots of room for improvement.

Personally I'm glad I've made the best out of this trip. Well, I did put it on myself to do so.
Making up for the 'lost' band years.

In chronological order.

Pre-trip: Self-explanatory. Pretty tired. Wasn't feeling that enthusiastic. Felt normal. Long hours of practice and administration work.

Trip:

1st day:

Winson, Student Conductor.

Zul, Ex-QM, 'Guy who likes- to- call- other- guys -'handsome' -upfront'.
Sent off by parents. Didn't eat much in the morning. Zul said the airport toilet is so nice you can sleep in it. It sounds funny when he said in it in malay though.

In the departure hall, the guys encountered a feminine-looking cleaner in the toilet. And he waved at me. I stoned.

Flight was great. Watched Iron man and Swing Girls. Half of it only though. Want to watch the rest soon.

Bus

Some very tall buildings

Touched down at HK in the afternoon. Went to Victoria Peak. Visited the wax museum.
Great fun.

Lots of pictures. Funny ones. Why am I speaking in short sentences. I don't know. Lets move on.

Experienced the weather first hand. It was cold and windy.

Wax Museum.

LangLang and me. Read about him in Reader's Digest. Lol.

Give me Some EDDIE!

Yeah Work it!

Nas's blocking my boyfriend.

Lol.

Gandhi RESPECT!

Hitler's pose.

Who loves my moustache!??

I'm an Assasin!

Staring into his eyes.

Oh me and Big Head Al used to play in the band together. Right Al?

After this, everyone went into this hanunted house called 'Scream'. And believe me. I reallyy did scream. Everyone in there looked so real. There are some real' ghost' in there ( Real people dressed up) and they move like IamLegend zombies. They go very near to you and scream, shout, growl. But they didnt touch anyone though. The feeling of them almost jumping onto you is there and hell, that was some scary shit. I had my fair share of screaming.... like a little girl.

OMG Ronaldinho has a new trick!

The Smelling-ass-ball-over-head trick.

Beatles.

First experience of cold weather.

The view from up here.

K guy thats all for the first day.

Tomorrow's gonna be day 2.

Bye

2008-11-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

My new favourite video

Whee see you guys in 5 days.
Let this trip be a memorable one.
I want to learn as much as possible from the band culture.
I want to learn as much as possible from their playing styles etc..
I want to become a better musician.
I want the standard of my section to improve significantly.
Most importantly, I want the whole band to improve.

Bye.

Safe and successful trip

Hmmm

2008-11-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

Let me update you on my exciting life.

Morning till Afternoon/Evening is band practice.
Afternoon/Evening till 8+ is soccer practice ( Virtual of course)
Then a possible short nap slotted in between 8+ to 10+
Ends with me watching The Simpsons/Dave Chappelle(?) show/American Dad till 1am.

Then off to bed.

Next day, Repeat.

OMGZSD. SO EXCITING CAN!!

I just realised how nice it must be to model your conscience into your mom. That way, you won't want to do anything wrong.

HELL YEAH! HEAVENS NO!

2008-11-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

Ironic phrase isn't it?

Dream update:

1)
-I was in the army
-I got chased by bees
-All this happened while I was giving a tour

2)
This dream concerned Irfan and his gf haha.
Ok
Can't really remember
However, I do remember one very vivid image of us playing soccer with a giant ball at the street soccer court.

3)
Wet dream

ANY -O- HOW!!

I don't really have anything to reflect upon right now.
Our combined concert with OPSS wasn't really that nice.

ReflectReflectReflectReflect.................

Oh yeah! FIFA 09!

I'm playing the Be a Pro:seasons. That means I'm controlling only ONE guy on the pitch. And everytime I get onto the pitch for Liverpool, I feel a great sense of power. I even scored 8 goals in total. Right-central midfield baby. Although my dribbling skills kinda sucks. But it's damn nice playing alongside Stevie G. and Fernando Torres and Jamie Carragher and etc..

When the real Liverpool fails, the virtual Liverpool never disappoints!

Who's that guy?

2008-11-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

Lets see ...Lets see.....

2008-11-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

Band preparation going at a steady pace. Only a few days of practice left and quite a no. of pieces left untouched.

Man, I've to work extra hard ( X 23 Effort) to be a better musician and student.

Moving on.

I think I can't do anything right. But then again, who doesn't make mistakes right? BUT! I make them over and over again. Sometimes, it happens unconsciously. Sometimes its just downright clumsy. Clumsiness leads to diaadkasf

ARGH going to sleep

Opinion

2008-11-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

You know what Moms should be like?
1) Accept their child regardless of their errs or disabilities
2) Instill in them a sense responsibility
3) Establish a strong faith in their child from a young age
4) Never make comparisons with other children. We are who we are!
5) Punish where appropriate only.( Take into account their feelings at the point of time)

Not that my mom didn't do all of those. That's why I love her. Punishment can make or break you. The tougher the punishment, the deeper you'll fall. The more you reflect, the stronger you become.

Look at me! I'm now a carefree son of a beach who randomly laughs at the sight of imaginary kangaroos!

PS: This is just an opinion gathered from listening and reading a myriad woes from a variety of sources. Hehe. I did some kaypoh-ing around Yj-sians.

Singa!

2008-11-11T20:15:00.000+08:00

Haha. Wanted to go to my blog but i forgot my own address!

Anyways, since I've found my way back, I need to correct a minor mistake from the previous post.
I got A, C, E! lol Can't tell you which subject I got an A though. Although it is quite obvious. I got an A for Sophisticated Harnessing of Intellectual Property paper, also known as The S.H.I.T.

Here's a little mind-boggling 'literature' also known as shit! Created by the one and only. (Actually I know other people by the name of Muzakkir. Weird)

When rules were first read to me.
My first thought was
It must be some artificial Nonsense destined for bury
Well, My thoughts sure weren't lying.

Rules...
There are no rules!
Looking at the way Nature wreaked havoc on every treaty of Peace.
But then again, I can't blame God.
For it is the way of life to take life as a temporary joy.

Shit! I just farted.

RUDOLF!!

2008-11-10T21:21:00.001+08:00

He's like my favourite character lORZZZ XD

I think she knows.

2008-11-10T21:02:00.001+08:00

She knows I exist.
Shes knows that I know she exist.
They call me names.
They think I'm this weird guy who lives opposite.
They think I'm this weird guy who lives opposite their house who likes one of their kin.
What he does... does it make him feel 'higher'/ superior?
Why does he want to make himself feel superior?
Climatic Riddles.

We acknowledge the presence of each other.
If only I knew what she was thinking. I'm not infatuated. I'm just a hell lot curious. If YOU happen to read my blog and have the intel and patience to understand what I'm saying, PLEASE tell me what you think about me?

Did I mention I'm highly anti-climatic and Paranoid?

No?

Well Did I also mention I like to eat asam pedas with soy sauce and an egg?

No?

Did I also mention that I think girls with make-up scares the hell out of me?

No?

Did I mention that guys who act like they're some kind of macho-man are so... 70s?

No?

Well... Did I men.... Nevermind. Till next adios!

I got D, A, D for promos though. Haha. Can't find a better arrangement. I thought of ADD or DDA but then, it wouldn't make sense. Gosh I just love to blabber on and on and on.

What happened?

2008-11-10T20:15:00.000+08:00

I never said Fuck You straight up in front of someone before. To make matters worse, I did it in front of an innocent victim. Its amazing what exam scores can do to you. Its amazing what I can do to myself.

Ok.

Spread the wisdom of drums to quite a number of people today. Maybe I could be a part-time tutor. 15bucks/hour? Selling myself too cheaply? Group lesson? Proceeds goes to band fund? Ideas Ideas.

Ok.

Did I mention about Toe?

Take a listen. Intricate playing styles. Absolutely love it.

Now... On to my Little Fighter 2.5!!!

Dedication

2008-11-09T00:23:00.001+08:00

This picture describes my mood. Go figure.

I see 2 hostile sides defying their rooted animosities to fight a common evil.
Or Good and evil fighting a netherworld being.

One word : A ball of Galaxies.

(Nice effect eh? That picture is actually made from powder on my drumset)

This my friend, is me saying toodles

Oh yeah, about the picture in the post 'Weird.'
He's actually one of my closest friends. One of the best I've ever had. Down-to-earth. Humble. Cheerful. Yeah. Hi AARSH!

End of 3 major tests.

2008-11-09T00:08:00.001+08:00

Beautiful indeed. Lousy picture quality though.

I think I'm being punished by the second. This is torture. I need some form of guidance. Please. Please. Peas. Peas. Peas. Penis.

You know how funny it is how neighbours try to act when they see a human of the opposite sex right opposite their window. Same goes for me. Its like a love-hate relationship.

K. Heres the secret. I've been checking her out since I was in secondary 2. I think it was kind of weird that I began to notice her then only after 14 years. I have never seen her up close. But...

Argh never mind. I don't want to get into my stalker mode. But there was one awkward incident.

One day, little Muzakkir was damn hyper. SO, he decided to take a peep at her house. Then, by some coincidence, I find her staring straight back at me.

I'm weirder than weird

Weird

2008-11-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Took the bus to school today. My head was moving along, playing offbeats with my tapping finger. Damn, Giant Steps by John Coltrane. I don't really understand jazz that much but I do find it a hell lot interesting. Blues is kind of interesting too. Needs emotion though. IMO, I think jazz requires a whole lot of technical ability and like qi bai years of experience!

I realize that I have done lots of things on impulse. It usually results in a whole lotta mess. Poor decision-making skills . Pity me. Boohoo.

Oh yeah how many 'lot' can you find in ths entry?

I was shot

2008-11-02T18:25:00.000+08:00

Ok, So Liverpool lost. Defeat is a stepping stone to victory.

I'm somehow beginning to feel as if I'm really turning into a turd. Lazy as a schmug.
Any-O-HOW! here a list of questions I have to answer by some unknown blogging law(?). I'll make an attempt to answer it without any witty or stupid answers.

Go listen while reading.

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.
1. Do you have secrets?

Yes.

I do.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?

Ok.

3. Do you enjoy going to school? Sometimes.

I do. 4. What would you do with a billion dollars? Nothing too noble or fancy. 5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Yes.

I will.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Ok.

7. Ideal boy/girl?

I'll rate her using my universal girl-type indicator ver. 2.56c. Yes the one with prototype hip width measuring tape and bad breath litmus test paper.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

I'll hide in the shadows and pounce on his balls.

9. List five favourite TV shows.

What's a TV?

10. Do you have any regrets?

Yes.... I Do. AND THEY WERE GREAT! :)

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time? R

Studying Jazz studies in LaSelle as a part-time course.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?

My Family.

13. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?

He's a person?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

I prefer the phrase Singmarriedle and ricpoorh.

15. What is your favourite colour?

The one with flowers.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yes. Especially when making babies.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

I'll talk to my brain.

18. Does forever exist?

God is forever.So yes. ( Quoted from Hasyir)

19. Name three things you would like to do but would never be able to.

Play like Buddy Rich. Play like Keith Moon. Play like Jimmy Lee.

20. BK Vs LJS. Who's the winner?

I prefer Ramli Burger. Because it has a Malay feel. Haha. Who's Ramli? Anyone know?

4. If you tried on a pair of shoes, and they fit, and they were the only pair left, but someone magically came to steal them from you on a flying lawnmower... What would you exclaim?

Give me back my shoes Alex Ferguson.

7. Boys or Girls?

Ok.

8. Would you consider yourself a morally upright person?

Uptight AND upright.

9. If Buzz Lightyear was real, life-sized, and was immortal - How different would this world be?

People would be riding rockets to work. All thanks to the dissection of Buzz Lighyear's boosters.

14. Would you have sex with a random stranger?

If the random stranger happens to be my wife. Ok.

17. Do you smoke? If you do, would you recommend non smokers to smoke?

I smoke French fries.

19. In the case of an emergency, do you pull the lever, push the button, blow the whistle, light the candle, wish the genie, pull out the finger, break the lock, whack the bean, steal the shoes or destroy the deathstar with a supersonic lightsabre?

I guess I have to make do with one of those illogical answers. Well, I do hate the Deathstar

K guys I'm done. Going to start on my speech now.

Wondering why I don't tag?
That's simple.
I have a small blog circle of shitheads

2008-11-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

Vital vital vital....

2008-11-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

The media keeps yapping about how VITAL every football match is for Liverpool to PROVE their title credentials.

I say F*** IT!
They don't need some sappy(?) middle-age man to tell them what they're supposed to do.

Damn.

Fable 2 is sucking my blood.

No more Malay.

One more hurdle for Project Work.

Paradiddles work-out working out fine

Hope Tony Zee is still alive. I need to earn some dough to pay for his lessons.

Haaa

2008-10-31T00:53:00.001+08:00

Nothing beats the warm comfort of a fresh pair of undies. :)

Wonder

2008-10-27T22:32:00.001+08:00

I wonder how my teachers would feel if they read my blog.
I wonder how random people in my school would feel about me when they read my blog.
I wonder how my crush would feel if he.. oops sorry....she reads my blog. Haha. I'm as straight as a flag pole.
I wonder how my relatives would feel if they read my blog.
I wonder how my friends would feel if they read my blog.

Would their perception change by reading several sentences and interpreting it with their own logic. Would they think of me otherwise. Would they go and talk about me changing Other peoples perception about me.

Any-O-HOW!

All the time i try to do something related to PW, i find myself blogging out my thoughts.

Toodles

PS: that is not me.. if by chance that guy reads my blog... im dead

Stinkbomb

2008-10-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

Being philosophical is as good as trying to dive into sewage water and taking a shit. ( Dwelling deeper into nothingness)

Being care-free is as good as climbing out of the sewage system and pretending you didnt even know where your shit went and how its going to turn it out. (Taking it easy)

Being ignorant is as good as climbing a ladder in the middle of an open field. (You have no life)

Being a Muzakkir is as good as being a social psychopath.

Weddings are social suicides.
Nothing is ever random.
Random is for people with Attention Deficit Disorder and disorganised thoughts. (Hey thats me)

Malay class: I was using the Malay-english(viceversa) dictionary for my essay

Me: What kind of dictionary doesn't have the word 'provide'? Argh
Girl: Uh.. you're reading the Malay section.
Boy next to me: Wah lao
My thoughts: Shit
Me: ooooooh

2008-10-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

Ronne Vannucci from The Killers reminds me of Keith Moon from The Who. Similar styles. I love loose playing styles. 2.47---2.49 Oh.. my.. Goodness haha.

(Pause for dramatic effect).

That small fill is enough to win me over their music.

3.55---4.07 BRILLIANT! KEITH MOON INDEED!

Any-o-how!

Upcoming happenings

1) MT A lvl Exam
2) ORAL PRESENTATION
3) JTDP robot
4) Orchid Park Collaboration performance with YJ
5) Hong Kong Trip
6) Xbox360 marathons

All of it sounds fun except MT
Phew...

Thank You!

2008-10-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

An answered prayer..
a timely awakening
Praise be to Allah, the cherisher and sustainer of the worlds

Sudden urges/thoughts.

2008-10-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

On a testosterone side, I think all girls who take Literature in JC looks or sound the same. Cliques are entirely overrated yet comfortable and the person who wants know it all is usually and eventually the person who knows something but then die trying to know more.

Guess what, I'm not bored! hah! Take that all you post-exam motherfishers!

Lol! Equilibrium will shift to the right soon

2008-10-19T00:19:00.001+08:00

Liverpool won... AGAIN! Great news. Something to look forward to every week.

I found some major errors in the previous principle. Humans CANNOT Cannot cannot cannot
PREDICT LIFE! As much as I hate to admit it, Life is unpredictable.

Imagine someone writes negative remarks about you in his blog and its hidden among the gazillions of other webpages. The probability of you reading that comment would then be... well 1: Gazillion.

But, what if you do read it by chance. Wouldn't your perception of that person change? Wouldn't that chance make a difference to an element of life, a relationship?

What is chance? Is it fate? That leads to the second stage of the stupid principle(read previous post). Fate has the ability to change the condition of your life but you still have the freedom of choice. Considering the previous example, you have several choices of reacting towards that negative remark. Its either you ignore it, take it in and confront the person or absorb the damage and let bygones be bygones. Freedom of choice rules again no matter what the happens.

Thus, this leads me to a unsurprising conclusion about life, you are what you are by the path you wish to take.

On a serious note, TOE ROCK MY SOCKS OFF! If only I had their merchandise, then i could become 'one' with Takashi Kashikura. haha.
http://www.myspace.com/toemusic

On a shitty note, the reason I don't want a tagboard is because if this blog is my shithole, then I have to assume that anyone who talks would be shitting too. So, this shithole would explode and
the Chorale would have to start singing 'Its raining crap!". But hey, it already has since the day E! tv was created.

Theory schmeary

2008-10-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hey football lovers. Its half-time for the wigan match and Liverpool CANNOT play catching up everytime. I call it consistent inconsistency.

It's something I have too. Its cure is discipline and a proper follow-up. Have you guys ever felt that burning desire to do well and then start to mug/practice/train. Then after awhile, you lose steam and sometimes you even wonder how you got that burning desire in the first place. Hmm... No wonder they say motivation gets you started but habit keeps you going. Damn. There's so many things in life worth having a try and getting good at but there's just not enough time for all of them. Maybe there is but i've not yet mastered self-discipline. Yeah.. skill of champions.

On a 'lighter' note, I really don't know how to socialise with my dad. It's so awkward everytime a conversation lights up. Maybe I just dont want to let go of the past and though the past may be trivial, I guess it's just my personality to not forget the bad. I easily forget the good though.
I keep forgetting simple words.

Oh yeah I came up with a stupid principle in life. Wanna hear it? Don't have a choice anyway.

Its about Le Chatelier's priniciple and applying it in life. Le Chatelier's principle states that a system in equilibrium when disturbed will change in composition so as to remove the disturbance.

Similarly, I think life has something to do with equilibriums or maybe in my terms moderation. SO... basically Life is a reversible reaction of Good and Bad ( though they may be subjective). However, while undergoing the reaction, there are consequences attached.

Good <---> Bad

SO... If people were to have fun in excess, the equilibrium will shift to the left and the process of the shift itself would result in possibly hurt,injury etc.

Just a small basis for my PhD on Clowning with Readers.

K guys I'll leave it at this. 2nd half has already started. C'ya.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Stoked

2008-10-16T23:35:00.001+08:00

In all my excitement of blogging out my riddled thoughts, I forgot to mention the sacred meaning of the words above.

It means HI! ( As in HELLO! ) I WANT TO SHIT. BRB ( be right back )

So basically ( Don't you just love basically? I don't), this is a place for me to shit out my thoughts and distresses or rants as little girls call it. BUT! there's a distinction between theirs and mine... Mine has LARGER IRRELEVANCE!

If my blog has a voice, it'll probably let out an evil 200,000Hz scream right about now. Can you hear it? Of course not.

Don't you just love riddles?? Don't you just love brackets? ()()()()()()()(()()()()()((((()))()(()

Seriously...

2008-10-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

Ok back to normal journal-like behaviour. I'm not going to talk about my life .. maybe somehow ironically i will.

Anyways, take me as an observer of life . A mere creature brought into this world when Mom and Dad chose to be perform an act of sacredness (an act i still believe is sacred even now). I'm given the freedom of choice of doing whatever I want within the rooted boundaries of my religion.

A little something about me..

I like reading other blogs. Seriously, this is the only medium where you can interpret other people's lives with a significant degree of accuracy within 4 to 5 hours of browsing through their archives ( depending on the no. of years they've been blogging). Not being kaypoh but ... ok actually I'm just kaypoh. Well, its a societal norm to be kaypoh.

Societal norm has a nagging link to fashion. Oh brother ... don't get me started. Fashion IMO makes the heart grow green(?) with greed. Why must be people be bothered with the way they look to the extent they'll buy designer and expensive clothes? Why a Nike bag when a plastic bag will do? Get my drift?

Ps.I have a habit of ending off awkwa.... sorry too lazy to complete that sentence. C'ya later folks.

Seriously.

Promos Are Over!!!

2008-10-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

It was a major _______. haha. Readership has fallen to a 2 year low of -50%. Partly due to the economic downturn and my big hot brown ass corrupting most of the world's brain juices via Internet porn. My battery has gone flat and the main device does not want to light up (Hidden message). Good, I prefer it to be that way. Xian Po, the famous scholar of Irfanozium has just released toxic waste into my brain and eradicated all things sane. Gramartikal errors is my bezt friends.

I'm not really going insane. Just a preview of my upcoming Berserker mode. I'm not insane.

Really.

K people or maybe just internet crickets. Muzakkir is back with more non-hilarious nonsense thats sure to crack you down and push you off a cliff with sharpened rocks and crashing waves ready to engulf you in numerous hours of enjoyable drowning 'sensations'.

Hell, I don't even know what I'm writing about. Do you?

Sometimes, I think everyone else is the Joker (HL version) and I'm just that guy sitting in the car while batman chases the joker. Since everyone else is the joker, it can be assumed that I'm the only one that is has a stable mental dental genital rental Buntol suntol guntol runtol dettol.

This is a cry for Help! S.O.S!

I'm not going crazy... I'm just feeling a little happy with the view from up here.

I walked alone...

2008-04-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

Things havent been going so great for me... except for the fact that i get to see that special someone 3X a week... Other than that ... nothing much

Something happened today.. and it definitely left a huge impact on me.. It forced me to rethink and re-evaluate about what i really want in life.. I have too many things to do now and i cant help but divide my efforts evenly in order to give my best... and its a fuckin hard thing to do... I cannot cope with too many things... IN times like this... i think i have to let go of certain things... Its too difficult..and i'm being stretched to limitless proportions... fking hell man...

Sorry to my bandmates....IF YOU EVER READ THIS... just know that it has been a fulfilling experience for me being with you guys..A Million thanks...

wan: You're just the coolest cat in the band... You're sociable and your antiques are one in a million ( in a good way). Fashion sense = superb.. I've always admired you and you definitely left a huge crater in my life...

Kim: What can i say... The Genius producer... not yet but soon you'll be well-known, i can guarantee that... You have LOADS of potential that you have yet to harness... Do it soon and you'll be one of the best guitarists around... As a cousin.. I must admit that you're the best cousin i've ever had...caring.. supportive... we share the same musical influences... jokes are spastic but its always an LOL for me. I have to thank God for giving me this opportunity to play alongside you.. fortunately .. we are still cousins...

Olie: You are definitely a keeper in the band... you are both hardworking and talented... dont let go of this opportunity to play music... its one of the greatest pleasures in life... ( one of which i have to let go partially) Keep up the gd work man... Although ive known you for a relatively short time... you are a great friend.

Anyways about the 5th April gig... I wasnt really angry at anybody...i was just frustrated... A series of events and actions culminated into me getting pissed off and fed-up..........So don't worry too much guys.

I reallly reaaaallly hope you guys are not angry with me.. please respect my decision... I wish you guys ... OLIE... WAN and KIM ... all the best in the near future... Sayonara...

2008-01-31T19:48:00.000+08:00

AAAAARRGH!!!

Things are going pretty smoothly... I'm settling down pretty well in YJC... Got 12 points for the 'O's

My results are as follows (as if it mattered) : :(

EL: B3
Humans(haha imagine a subject called humans lol... actually there IS biology.. nvm ) : A2
E math :A1
A math:A1
Chemistry: B3 :(
Physics: B3 :(
Malay: A2

I know i know... I'm so like outdated but who gives a damn right?

I think there's something wrong with me... everytime someone stares at me, i'd feel damnnnnn paranoid and my brain will trigger a string of vulgarities. Maybe I don't get out much or I just have low self-esteem.

The open house last saturday was pretty fun. Didnt really help my class's stall that much. In my reflections ( the teacher forced us to write them during Pastoral care class... haha the word pastoral makes me smile... im a weirdo i know.. i have no idea what my brain links them to).. Anyways in my reflections, under the learning points.. I wrote: There are some compassionate, honest, responsible and loyal people in my class.. and i'm not one of them. Thats as honest as i could get.

What else ah?... OH yeah a few blogs i've been feeding on lately...chuahejin.blogspot.com(If only my english was as powderful as hers... haiz) , kennysia.com (like who doesnt read his blog??), thatbloodycritic.blogspot.com... yep..

hmm what else... oh yeah i think i let go of things too easily... I mean when i feel hurt due to some event or something.. i forget about them almost instantly. Like what happened yesterday. oh yeah WHAT happened yesterday???